Rigg the Pig

Yesterday me and Whitevanwoman went for a walk on the fell and we took the tennis ball throwing stick. Here’s a picture of the tennis ball throwing stick.

A long time ago, when Lanky was a youngster, Whitevanwoman hurt her shoulder throwing a stick for him, and she says it hasn’t been right ever since. She hurt it again not long ago and has to be very careful now while it gets better. That’s why she doesn’t throw sticks or tennis balls for me very often but she did get a tennis ball stick which she can use instead. It stays in the white van with my lead and tennis balls, but she often forgets to bring it when we are out on our walks.

I made sure that she brought it with us yesterday by offering to carry it for her (here’s a photo)

and so we had a really great tennis ball throwing session on the fell. I think her sore shoulder means that she can only throw the tennis balls one way – up the hill! I didn’t mind though, and I must have run up that hill after that tennis balls loads of times. What was a bit annoying though, was that everytime I brought the tennis ball back to Whitevanwoman and dropped it at her feet, it bounced down the hill and I had to go chasing after it to bring it back. After a while I realized that instead of just hurling the tennis ball at her feet, if I put it down gently, it stayed still and didn’t bounce downhill. Ha! My brain power amazes me sometimes. How many other dogs have figured that one out?

I did start getting a bit tired after a while so I stopped taking the tennis ball back to Whitevanwoman and just trotted along carrying it. She won’t put the tennis ball in her pocket but makes me carry it after a throwing session – she says she doesn’t want a pocket full of dog slobber and dirt. After a while I realized we were heading in the direction of the river, and I got really excited as we haven’t been there for ages.

We have to scramble down the side of the old bridge to get to the water and I always leg it down first ahead of Whitevanwoman and wait at the bottom for her. I watch her climbing down – she thinks it’s because I can catch her if she falls, but actually it’s so that I can make sure that I’m well out of the way if she falls.

I have a special swimming pool at the river and you have to get through a tunnel to get to it. I have a special “tunnel” command which means to go into a little dark space and come out the other side (I learned that when I was a puppy as it’s the kind of thing that is useful for search dogs to be able to do). The tunnel to the river is a lot bigger than most other tunnels – here’s a photo of me in the tunnel, my special pool is behind the tunnel.

I was really hot after all that tennis ball fetching so I launched myself off the rocks into the pool and had a good swim across it and back and forth a few times, before getting out and having a good shake all over Whitevanwoman. 

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day which is another strange human ritual which we dogs will never be able to understand. Apparently people tell other special people how much they love them on Valentine’s Day.

I don’t really see the point of it. I tell Whitevanwoman (who is the most special person in my life) how much I adore her every day, by licking her face as soon as she opens her eyes in the morning, by waiting patiently at the bottom of the stairs whilst she is up there for hours without me, by jumping up and leaving my pawprints and smell and hair all over here several times throughout the day, by barging the cats out of the way when she is about to give them a stroke or cuddle, by sitting next to her staring into her eyes (or trying to – she usually just ignores me or tells me to go away) for hours, by licking her bare feet when she’s just got out of the bath, and by touching her hand or nose with my nose at every available opportunity. And then at night time, before she goes to sleep, we always have a bit of a cuddle and then I curl up on her feet to keep them warm all night long. Why bother with a bit of paper with a picture on it which just goes in the bin, when you can prove it in so many other ways? 

Whitevanwoman said that the only Valentine that came through the door yesterday (I’ve never understood where those bits of paper that suddenly come out of the door actually come from) was from the bank. I don’t think she’s that bothered about having a Valentine card from the bank because she didn’t bother opening it. 

She did tell me yesterday that she loves me because she knows that I adore her, no matter what she does. I didn’t want to spoil it for her, so I didn’t tell her that I adore her because she’s in charge of the food bowl. Somehow, I thought she might be a bit disappointed about that so I kept quiet and put my ears back to look even cuter than usual and licked her hand. 

I don’t think those dratted cats adore Whitevanwoman as much as I do – but then I suppose they have the option of going out whenever they want to kill and eat something if they are hungry, so they don’t have the same food dependency adoration as I do. They do shout pretty loudly in the mornings though for their food and she always gives in when they start their pathetic meowing and getting under her feet. I’ve tried that when it’s my dinner time but it doesn’t work. She just tells me to be quiet and to go and lie on my bed until she’s ready to feed me. Talk about double standards. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, those cats are sly. I don’t trust ‘em.

It’s been snowing alot since I last did a blog post. Lots has happened, like Christmas (which wasn’t a very Happy one this year without Lanky) and then all the snow arrived. At first me and Whitevanwoman thought the snow was great – we had some fun with snowballs (I still haven’t worked out where they go when they land – it’s very strange, they just seem to disappear), but then my feet started getting sore from the ice and then they started stinging after I had walked on the road (Whitevanwoman says it’s salt which makes them sting, but that it will help make them better so I suppose it’s “no pain, no gain”).

It seems to snow most days at the moment and it’s getting a bit boring now. Whitevanwoman keeps saying that she’s going to get the sledge out for me to pull (hooray – I just love doing that) but she hasn’t yet, she says she needs to make me a special harness so that it doesn’t hurt my neck when I pull the sledge. But she seems to be spending most of her spare time cutting up logs for the fire, or huddled up in front of it like old Lanky used to do. Humans are such wimps about getting cold and getting wet – I really can’t see what the problem is. Me and Whitevanwoman went for a lovely walk in the snow in Stenkrith Park last week and I got so hot from running around that I jumped in the river for a swim to cool down, even though there was ice at the edge of the river. I soon cooled down, but then I realised that I would have to run around some more to warm up again. But being such a fine figure of a dog, and in such prime condition, I could run around all day if I wanted to. Humans just haven’t got the stamina and can’t keep up. I call it “Rigg power”.

We went to see the Madhouse last week too, and I was so pleased to see everyone and licked them all and jumped around the house in sheer delight as it had been ages since we last saw them. I sniffed every inch of the kitchen floor and hoovered up all the edible bits to save Mary Moo having to sweep up. I took my mate Ryan for a walk up onto the school field and some of his friends came too and we had a really good game of footie and when I came back, I drank a whole bucket of water because I’d been running around so much. I think Malcolm was well impressed with my steam train impression and I did Mary Moo another favour by washing the kitchen floor with all the water that I spilled whilst I was drinking. Poor Shaughna got knocked down by a car whilst we were there, and had to go to hospital in an ambulance and we were all very worried but she was ok and when she got home, I gave her a kiss and cuddle to show her that I’d been worried about her.

I gave the Madhouse a copy of my book of my blog “Memoirs of a mongrel – the adventures of a hairy hooligan” and they were well impressed. Whitevanwoman spent alot of time making my blog into a book just before old Lanky went to dog heaven and she gave copies to some of my mates for Christmas. She says that if people like it, she will get it properly printed and then I’ll be a published author! Kim read most of it straightaway, and I spotted Malcolm having a look through and Mary Moo says that Ryan thinks it’s great. Mary Moo also told Whitevanwoman that lots of other people who go to the Madhouse have been reading it and think it’s great too. Whitevanwoman said that maybe one day I might be famous. I’m not sure what that means, but if it means that people will want to play with me and make a fuss of me, that’s fine by me. I could cope with that.

I’m hoping to pursuade Whitevanwoman to take me out to play in the snow later – it started snowing again this morning and already there’s about an inch of new snow on top of the old snow. I find that the best way to make her realise that I want to go out to play is to go and sit in front of her and watch her, and then after a while to have a little whinge, and then to start bouncing up and down in front of her, until she can’t ignore me anymore. Then she usually asks me if I want to go out, and I prick up my ears when she says that, and so she opens the back door for me to go out into the yard. Sometimes I just want a quick wee so I nip out and have one, but sometimes I want to go and have a good run round, and so I just stay inside, looking out and then looking at her and then looking out again, trying to look disappointed. Sometimes it works and she says “Ok, come on, let’s go for a walk” and she puts her boots and coat on and I get so excited that I bounce round the house and knock things over with my tail and dash out of the door (I usually get in told off for being too giddy) but other times she just says “Tough, I’m busy right now, you’ll have to wait” and so I go and lie on my bed for a while, and try again after I’ve had a little nap. I’ve learned that being persistent usually pays off.

So what shall I do now? I think I’ll go and sit in front of Whitevanwoman and watch her for a while as she might fancy going for a walk…